Information Gathering as a Problem-Solving Tool

Whenever a family comes together to mediate a conflict the willingness to show up to mediate needs to be acknowledged as a brave first step. Each family member who shows a willingness to take a risk and have a conversation has already taken a step towards resolution even before the conversation begins. That willingness is something the mediator will want to help members build on as they take incremental steps forward. Problem-solving tools are perfect for building on that willingness. In the previous post we talked about taking away mom’s car keys when her car is showing signs that her continued driving is becoming a hazard to herself and others. When adult siblings show up to mediate because of their concerns for Mom’s well-being, they may be able to start at a most basic agreement, that they both love Mom and are concerned for her welfare. With that foundational agreement parties who have already taken the risk of showing up at a mediation may be ready to take the first problem-solving step. That step may look like research into whether Mom’s car is functioning properly, or it may involve contacting Mom’s healthcare providers, with her consent, to see if a medical condition is affecting her ability to drive. In some cases there may be police reports filed about incidents Mom has not yet disclosed and research may involve uncovering any history of reported traffic violations or auto accidents. This phase of problem solving then is all about information gathering. All of those hardened positions that people come to the table with will take a back seat (pardon the pun) to gathering more information about exactly what is going on with Mom’s driving before next steps to a resolution can take place.